Y An-tie men

Big wheels keep on turning.

something keeps on rolling.

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i sit here thinking about that moment. In that moment, as your hand reached for mine and as mine reached for the door. Tears started to swell in my eyes, and it hurt to cry.At the time, I thought you were wrong. Were you right? What was so right about you? I'm not so sure. Maybe it was the notion that I would never have something like this again. Maybe it was because I really thought this was something. A lot of maybes, I dont know.

All i could remember was how hard the week had been. You've changed me. Never would I, in a million years, have thought that I could be so attached to a person. Attached to a man. After everything i have witnessed in relationships and marriages... How did i let myself get into the position i resent?

That night I couldnt breathe. I couldnt sleep or think. All those things i've done to make it up to you.. Kit kats in one hand, my time in the other. But you, what have you done for me? I guess i should have seen it. But I didnt.

i sit here now, with a drink in place of the kit kat, looking up at the haze filled night. No longer a fool chasing dreams, but wishing i was. As i take a sip, a lapse of memory comes rushing in and i sit there, on stained-seat of my car, thinking about what should have been, but never will be. The end of a chapter i keep revisiting..

Tears start rolling down my cheeck, I start to think that you were maybe someone special. But then again, that's a lot of maybes.

;;; people seem to judge me for moving on too quickly. Relationship after relationship. I dont care, only cause its true. But dont make up your own explanations for my habit.
I choose to not be attached. I choose to move on fast.

I choose to not get hurt. Ever again.