It's been a year since I got hired at IN n Out. Sorta crazy actually. I never thought I'd find myself working in a fast food industry, but then again, i never thought I'd be in this situation.

Money's been tight lately, been giving most of to the mother of the household. Physically drained and sick, but on the plus side I am spiritually charged. I really am in that place once again. I have that feeling I felt 3 years ago. That feeling that made me want to work hard for the benefit of others. I just love it.

***

Moving in a month.

Idk, what the plans are as of today, buttt it's a month :/

So, I've been to Santa Monica 5 times now. I feel like i already go to the school.

It's a complete different environment from UNI.

There arent that many asians, well there are.. but theyre all fobs.

There are tons of africans and mexicans.

Interesting mix. And theres this area near the parking lot where all the goth kids hang out.

....

I thought college was supposed to be different.. In a mature way.

It doesnt seem like it.

What are they doing there..?

What am i doing here?

sigh.

Still unsatisfied.

Am i getting there?

**

Even while talking to the counselors, i feel as though i have to justify my reasons for enrolling to their school. I tell them that i come from this great school, took 5 APs, got accepted but no money.. blabla. Making excuses for my presence. And they jst look at me apathetically. "I DONT GIVE A F***" is written all over their foreheads.

I'm still embarrassed, and i think a part of me will always be ashamed in some way.

It's my biggest fear. I dont want to be mistaken for a dumbass, or for someone who didnt try in highschool and thats why im transfering.

in fact im the complete opposite.

Just ran out of luck