Sunday, October 11, 2009

I should be smart right now. Getting straight A's, and already should be in college. Great at shopping, make up, and working.


But what does that amount to.

How do i feel about myself?

I am a big disappointment to myself. I am split between the things I want right now and the things I want most later. "You're smart, you'll be fine" "Don't worry, you'll transfer" "You're so independent". Honestly, i never listened to those encouragement speeches or phrases you hear people say all the time. I have lots to worry about, I have ways to go before fine.
I wish i was a stronger person. Although my mind is always thinking about the future, my heart is settled in the present. I'm not in love w/anyone persay.. I'm just in love w/the opportunities i am given everyday.

Im stuck inbetween the things i could do now.. and the things i can do later. I'm looking through doors, but i cant seem to find the exit.

Where is my life going?

Where am i going?

sigh, things are getting more real as things come to an end.

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A lot in my mind lately. Physically here, mentally absent.

What to do..what to do....

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