Slowly but surely

It's definitely interesting to see the plans God have for us.

I've recently have been hitting certain low points with my faith lately. It always deals with the same problem; logically this sounds like a load of crap. Of course I could just forgo everything I've learned and gained from Christianity because none of it seems to make sense (logically) but for some reason I have this strong emotional attachment to all of it. And I think that's where my struggle lies. This attachment to Him.. some days it even feels like something is pulling me closer to something.. And I wish I knew.

Anyways, I checked out Bae JDSN's church yday. He's been my JDSN since I was 7 until my freshman year. I don't think I've ever met anyone with such a big heart and patience as him. Anyways, compared to our old GGUMC, this service was.. 100x different and .. mature. It was very eye and heart opening.--Everyone is in their own zone. They definitely are not caring about anything or anyone when it comes to worship. Some serious shit. I mean I've been exposed to people speaking tongue and shaking and all that good stuff, but.. I've never witnessed it like this. It really threw me back.

After service jundo and I were catching up, when one of the ladies came to talk to him. I really don't know how it all happened but.. they asked me to become a Sunday school teacher for Fridays.&& hopefully eventually if I love it and if they love me, I could take over for Sundays. idk, they went on and on about how they were praying for someone to come to look after these kids to guide them and they had interviewed a couple of people that just had something missing and blabla.. and my jundo had brought my name up to her bc he knew i was coming that Sunday for service. IDK! it was a lot to process at once

but I agreed to do so.

I'm not sure if this is God's plan for me. And it's sounds so strange to see God's plans for me.

I've always been the kind of person that created her own agenda and future thinking that this is what God wants me to do. In a way I'm relieved to know that I am not alone in working towards tomorrow. However, I'm scared because I don't want my tires to steer off road as I pull my wheel the opposite way. We will just have to wait and see.

I really think God wants me to attend that church and truly learn and spiritually grow. And yknow what? I agree. I can definitely see myself taking part and really learning the heart of worship.

The only downer to this whole thing is.. the sermon and singing is done in Korean. oh chamnah.

Things may come, but they won't come easy.

fearless- colbie calliat