in-between

dun dun dunnnnnn!!!

It has been quite a refreshing break so far. Meeting up with friends, catching up, eating, working out, and just really enjoying my break. Except for one glitch, but what's done is done, and I will look past this flaw and just hope for the best. God will provide, God will.

backtrack-

I entered high school with so many dreams, plans, and hopes. I entered high school thinking anything and everything was possible. Boy was I wrong. I encountered so many disappointments in people, family, and myself. I didn't think that the world I grew to love could change, and could change me. Man, reality is so different for the most of us.

And here I am 20. No longer a teenager, No longer an adult. Just an in-between.

I was sitting with 3 friends from high school talking about how much things have changed, how much we have changed over the course of 2 years. The talk of the future never lets up.

10 years. my life has been mapped out for the next 10 years. The goal of becoming a doctor has been... hmm something I had acknowledged for 3 years now. I am still doubtful and hopeful, but how will i know if i never try?

I have an altruistic complex that is now a growing passion. But most people think "doctor" and automatically associate doctor with $$$$$$$

To be honest, I'm scared. Although I know myself better than most people my age, I'm scared that if I invest myself too much in the world, the world will get the best of me. I know change is inevitable, but to change the source of my goals is to change the soul of my life.

And so I doubt myself. I doubt the world.

I don't want to taint what I love.