Future Reference

So at church I was asked, "Do you know your calling?"

At the age of 17 (almost 18) being asked that kind of question most definitely stumps you. But I think it's safe to say that I do know the road I'm destined to take. Although I may not know the destination, I have a pretty general-specific idea of my future.
Sadly, I'm not too sure if this path includes God. Lately I've lost that spirituality inside me that would make me want to wake up every Sunday morning to hear God's words and mature from it. But lately, I've absorbed nothing. I don't know if this is usual, but it's actually been months since I've last had that feeling of faith and feeling that God really does exist. For some reason in my mind I've already established that God doesn't exist, and I feel no guilt for feeling this way.
This doesnt mean I'm giving up. I still do attend Sunday services, but I feel like the only reason for my attendance is tradition. I was born and raised in a Christian home and was forced to go to church since the day I was born. Although now that I am mature, it's up to me if I want to go, but how do you break out of a habit you were so brainwashed to do?
Sometimes I feel as though, religion is another excuse, or some sort of idea that people have adapted over the years to give them comfort or some sort of assurance that their life here on earth will be well payed for in the end. It simply gives us a reason to be good people.

I don't know about you, but I know plenty of athiest people that deserve to go to heaven.
What happens to them? Oh, and the whole gay issue today... Just because I side with the gay community on marriage does not mean that I am not a Christian. There are so many aspects of the bible that even Christianity doesn't follow because it's outdated. So don't give me that bull shit. Marriage is only defined in the bible which only applies to religious people.
I'm tired of people arguing with me when their only support has to do with religion. Religion hasn't really been proven, so how can you use an unknown to support your thesis?

B l A h.
i hate school. i dislike many people.

On a happier note. Watch this : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ifGHUfR5Ks