As your hands grazed my arm and our skins met with strong but subtle welcoming sensations, my mind repetitively commanded my body "no". But every inch of me, all the way down to my core of a soul, wanted to have you, even though i stubbornly knew it would be just one night. You remember everything of me, of what I liked when I was with you. You knew the perfect moves to get me to draw closer. I was scared. But my curiosity hungered my desires to just know what it would be like to live it all over again.. To just let all things go.
I let go of so much of myself last night. I gave you my morals, my priorities, my independence; I gave you all of which I knew best. I gave you all of what I had to offer the world. I gave you me.
The moment with you brought us back to a place we chose to hide from our lives. Being companions and comfort as if nothing had ever happened. We took out the skeleton from our closets, bone by bone, as we asked questions that lingered importance in the past and no meaning in the present. I just had to know, and so did you.
Yet, we can't ignore the things that have changed. It hurts, because I know. I know I'm not that kind of person to you anymore.
"Be honest"
you spoke with this full content of beauty and wonder which crashed abruptly by the reality of a simple "but" and slowly but surely your honest words followed.
I stand to my words, "no pressure" -It wouldn't be fair to pressure you into giving me a black and white answer to a question that i made grey to myself. I don't even know. Where does it all end and begin?
I'm afraid to ask. I'm afraid to speak. I'm afraid to know.
Inside i know.. complications are unavoidable at this point. We both knew it would make things complicated b/t us, so why did we choose to surrender our inhibitions and destroy our common senses?
Because the night would have been a sentence we would never be able to finish, "I wonder.."
It's always nice to remember- to forget.
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