I wonder.

I've fallen for some-1.. more precisely- his words.

A stranger. What I know of him is what he has laid out publicly in his profile, but I feel a deep connection to him, not with, but to him; to his thoughts.

I've been reading his things for over a year now. And time and time again I am taken back by each and every word & by his strategy for putting such beauty together. Words didn't remain as words, they carried meaning.. a meaning I never cared for.

I don't know what prompted me to message him after all this time. But I did. I gave him my appreciation for allowing me, a stranger, to intrude on his thoughts and just fall in love with what he writes.

He replied with this,

Hi Angela,

Thank you for your message and kind words. I think I started Xanga when I was like 16 or 17, back when everyone was doing it, because everyone was doing it. But over the years, it became a place where I could deposit my emotions, which helps me a lot, since I don't know how to make sense of them in real life. I've always been afraid of showing what I'm really like on the inside to people I know. So there's something quite lovely about this - of you only seeing my inside, without knowing who I am everywhere else. I really appreciate your reading and thank you again for your message. A compliment on my writing is to me, the highest compliment I can receive.

-Josh

I can't help but wonder the what he's like in person. Sometimes though, meeting the person destroys every hope and image you have of him/her. Sometimes, wondering is the most captivating because sometimes, just sometimes, the truth hurts.